Apple Pie
by AnnoyingAnonymous
Summary: COMPLETE Harry wants apple pie and realizes his feelings for someone unexpected. This was ment to be a one shot so I'm updating the summary. After loosing Apple Pie. Harry searches for someone to love. HBP spoilers after ch5. Mild sexuality SUGGESTIVE AA
1. Chapter 1

Title: Apple pie  
Author: annoyanonymous  
Rating: AA (sexual content)  
Summary: Harry wants apple pie and realizes his feelings for someone unexpected.  
Disclaimer: Characters are JKRs. Duh!

Harry woke up with a start. His breath was ridged and short. He had that dream again. Voldemort had killed Dudley. He hated his dreams like that.

He looked at the clock. It read 5:00am. He groaned rolled over and tried to sleep. He was unsuccessful. He sat up and stretched and yawned. He got out of bed walked to the door and scratched his balls. He walked down the hall and into the kitchen. There was some left over apple pie in the fridge, which is rare when you live with Dudley. He opened the kitchen door. There was Dudley, shoving the last bit of apple pie in his large mouth.

"Delusous" Dudley tried to say with his mouth full of pie,

"You bastard!" Harry yelled, as he threw a can of paint at Dudley.

Dudley laughed. Pieces of pie sprayed onto the ground. Harry found this strangely arousing.

"Hey Dudley, You useless sack of crap!" exclaimed Harry. "Want to ride me like a train?"

Dudley swallowed his pie. "But Harry, what if, what if they see?" Dudley stammered.

"I'll use a silencing charm and no one will have to know. I'm of age now." said Harry.

Harry pulled Dudley closer. He could count the pimples on his nose, which reminded him of patched wet cement. He pulled Dudley close and engaged in a deep passionate kiss. Harry pulled back, smiled and said "You taste like apple pie."


	2. Chapter 2

Title: Apple pie  
Author: annoyanonymous  
Rating: AA (sexual content)  
Summary: Harry wants apple pie and realizes his feelings for someone unexpected.  
Disclaimer: Characters are JKRs. Duh!

Author's Note Please review, I like writing crazy stories, hope you enjoy!

Harry then broke apart from Dudley, winked and said, "See ya around."

Dudley stood awestricken as he watched Harry leave the room. Harry walked back to his bedroom with a satisfied grin, "At least I got to have a taste of apple pie." He thought. He plopped down onto his bed and played with his wand. "My letter should be here any day now." He thought.

The next morning Harry was awoken rudely by Uncle Vernon. "Make breakfast boy!" He yelled.

Harry groaned, rolled out of bed and scratched his balls. He quickly got dressed and walked to the bathroom where he took a very large shit. He flushed, but decided against washing his hands. He walked to the kitchen where he quickly cooked a breakfast of eggs, bacon and fried toast. Dudley bounded in with his blubber wiggling in a lava lamp fashion. Harry stared hypnotized and felt a little rise in his pants.

"Mornin." said Dudley.

"Hey." said Harry winking.

Harry served Dudley and extra portion of bacon. He loved his men meaty. The family ate breakfast while Harry at dried toast with a glass of water.

Suddenly a loud THUD was heard. Aunt Petunia screamed. Harry suppressed a laugh. "It was just a Hogwarts owl. Christ, you'd think they'd be used to these owls after 7 years, I guess not." thought Harry.

"Get your damned mail, Harry." said Vernon. Vernon gave up on being enraged with these owl letter, they sure beat swarms of them.

Harry opened and read his letter, it was the usual list of books and the usual note telling him to be at platform 9 1/3 for Sept 1st. Yadi Yadi Yada…

"I'm going back to school!" exclaimed Harry with glee.

Dudley suddenly burst into tears and ran upstairs, you could hear his thundering steps. Petunia and Vernon were shocked. Harry continued his breakfast. After breakfast Harry walked up to Dudley's room.

"Hey Dudders?" said Harry, "You ok?"

"No!" wailed Dudley, "you're leaving."

"Yea, you knew I had to go." said Harry.

"So what happened last night meant nothing to you?" asked Dudley in between sobs.

"Of course!" said Harry, "Besides we still have a week to shag."

Dudley smiled.

Harry saw a rise in Dudley's pants, "How about some fun?" said Harry seductively.

"Ok." agreed Dudley.

Harry did some censored behavior and wiped his mouth. "Time to go see Ron!" said Harry, "I'll see you in June!"

Dudley felt sudden rage and threw an ink bottle at Harry. It landed close to Harry feet and spilled on the floor. "Scorify!" said Harry waving his wand. The ink cleaned up.

Dudley ran and tore up Harry's entire school book collection. Harry sighed with amusement. Waved his wand and said, "Reparo."

"Stupid magic!" wailed Dudley.

Harry gave Dudley a hug, and said, "Hey cheer up big guy! I made you rice pudding! It's in the fridge. I know how much you love rice pudding. But we'll always have apple pie." With that Harry winked and appearated to the Burrow.

Dudley walked down the stairs with tears pouring down his face in the fridge was his rice pudding and beside it was a fresh Apple Pie. he'll eat it at sunrise.


	3. Chapter 3

Title: Apple pie  
Author: annoyanonymous  
Rating: AA (sexual content)  
Summary: Harry wants apple pie and realizes his feelings for someone unexpected.  
Disclaimer: Characters are JKRs. Duh!

Author's Note Please review, I like writing crazy stories, hope you enjoy!

Harry arrived at the Burrow and was instantly greeted by the Weasley's. He saw a familiar none Weasley face it was Hermione Granger! Hermione held out a large envelope and said "This arrived for you, Harry. It's a letter from Hogwarts."

"I already got mine though." Harry said while looking extremely puzzled.

He opened the letter and read. "Well I'll be damned! I'm Head Boy!" exclaimed Harry.

"Hurray!" exclaimed the Weasley's.

"This means we get to share the head bathroom!" exclaimed Hermione.

Suddenly all the lights went out. Ron screamed. Hermione and Harry created some candles in mid air. "That should do it." Harry and Hermione said together.

Ron blushed scarlet and turned his face away from Harry and Hermione.

Mrs. Weasley made Harry a huge breakfast despite her lack of money, while everyone else ate smaller portions. "Only the best, for my favorite son!" chimed Mrs. Weasley beaming.

"But I'm not…" said Harry blankly, "I'm a nobody, nobody understands me!" He yelled.

He finished his breakfast and ran up stairs. Sobbing he hid behind a large curtain. "Oh god I miss Dudley." thought Harry, "What will I do until June, better yet, who should I o until June?"

Harry tried his best to choke back sobs as he heard Hermione and Ron searching for him. "He's not under here!" stated Ron, looking under a pillow.

"Of coarse he isn't you idiot!" yelled Hermione, "He has to be somewhere logical."

"Well I hate you!" yelled Ron.

"Well I HATE you!" yelled Hermione.

"I love you." said Ron.

"I love you and Harry, but I can't make up my mind." said Hermione.

Ron stood baffled, "Bitch." He muttered.

"I heard that!" yelled Hermione.

"What's that sobbing sound." asked Ron murderously.

"It's Harry, you imbecile!" yelled Hermione.

Hermione pulled back the curtain. "Harry it's you!" she exclaimed as she flung her arms around his neck.

"You found me." said Harry.

"What's wrong, why are you crying?" asked Hermione with concern.

"Yea, what's up mate?" asked Ron.

"Ron, shut-up!" yelled Hermione, "I'm trying to talk to Harry."

"I have a secret but I can't tell it because you will laugh at me." said Harry.

"No." said Ron solemnly.

"What did I tell you!" yelled Hermione who then charms some Canaries to attack Ron.

"I just miss apple pie so much." He sobbed.

"Apple pie?" asked Hermione, "OMG, you like some other girl." Hermione ran out of the room sobbing.

"It's not like that!" yelled Harry, "I just miss my cousin Dudley."

Hermione popped her head in through the threshold and said "Oh ok. Everyone falls for there cousin at least once. I understand." She hugged Harry.

"Thanks for caring." said Harry, "Want to be my girlfriend?"

"Sorry as much as I love you and all, I have to be with Ron, see jealousy and fighting equals love. You know the drill." explained Hermione, "You have to date and dump Ginny first, because she's the new and improved super Ginny-sue."

"Oh ok." said Harry.

"GIN!" yelled Harry, "You and me together."

"I thought you'd never ask!" exclaimed Ginny.

"I still miss my apple pie." said Harry sadly.

"Now we'll be one big happy Weasley family!" gushed Ginny.


	4. Chapter 4

Title: Apple pie  
Author: annoyanonymous  
Rating: AA (sexual content)  
Summary: Harry wants apple pie and realizes his feelings for someone unexpected.  
Disclaimer: Characters are JKRs. Duh!

Author's Note Please review, I am having so much fun with this story, sorry some of you think it's perverted, the Harry/Dudley stuff is so preposterous I had to do it, to make fun of slash fandom… hence the reason why this story is under parody and humor. Also I'm very against 'the one big happy Weasley family" so I'm going to poke fun at it, honestly… it is so cliché." Hope you enjoy my story."

"Let's play quidditch!" said Ron who was covered in bruises from Hermione's canaries.

"Ok!" exclaimed Hermione, "I love quidditch."

"Don't act like you understand quidditch!" yelled Ginny as she protectively threw her arms around Harry's neck. "He's mine bitch." she thought.

"Control your sister!" yelled Hermione to Ron.

Ron turned scarlet. The group walked out into the Weasley's backyard and divided into teams. Harry and Hermione paired much to Ginny's disgust. Harry and Hermione won with Harry's awesome quidditch skills.

"You go Harry!" exclaimed Hermione.

Ron and Ginny pouted.

Harry beamed. "What a great game!" with that he kissed Ginny passionately.

"Yo! She's my sister mate!" exclaimed Ron.

"And you're my best friend!" smiled Harry, "It's natural, besides how else will the big happy Weasley family work out?"

"True." said Ron.

Mrs. Weasley called Harry, Ginny, and Ron to come in. Hermione trailed behind because the main female role was now taken by Ginny-sue how is much better suited for Harry. "Time to go to Diagon Alley to see my rich sons… er… get your school supplies."

Harry, Hermione and Ron appearated in Diagon Alley and waited for Mrs. Weasley and Ginny. When Ginny and Mrs. Weasley found Harry, Hermione and Ron, Harry noticed Ginny was a bit dirty because of using Floo Powder. "You got dirt on your nose" said Hermione with disgust.

"I remember when she said that to me." Ron said blushing scarlet.

Hermione blushed. "Well you were pretty dirty."

"I hate you." Ron smiled.

"I hate you more." Hermione smiled.

"Aww! Young love!" sighed Mrs. Weasley.

"No I do!" yelled Ron.

"No I do!" yelled Hermione.

"Stop fighting! For just two minutes, please stop fighting!" yelled Harry, "geez!"

"Sorry Harry." said Hermione and Ron together.

After they all bought their supplies they stopped into Fred and George's shop. "Harry we know you're loaded but you get anything you want from our store, for free!" They exclaimed.

"Sweet!" exclaimed Harry.

"What about me? I'm your brother and I'm poor." questioned Ron.

"Yea, but your not Harry." said Fred and George.

Harry "bought" something for everyone, but saved them for Christmas. "Now I'll get to save my money!" thought Harry.

Hermione and Ginny wandered over to the love section, "We should stock up on love potions Hermione."

"Why?" asked Hermione

"Because in order to keep the One Big Happy Weasley Family in tact without you and Harry having an affair we need them!" explained Ginny.

"Silly me!" laughed Hermione, "How could I forget that!"

Ginny and Hermione took the whole supply of love potions and brought them to the cash desk. "You can have those for free Hermione" smiled George.

"Ginny you're to young to think about love, sixteen is far to young, although we had dates for the Yule Ball at fifteen, you can't have romantic interests. Let alone date Harry! Whore!" said Fred.

"I can date who ever I want!" yelled a furious Ginny.

"Well you still have to pay!" smiled George.

"Time to go home!" said Mrs. Weasley, "It's getting late you-know-who maybe be lurking anywhere!"

"Harry will save us!" chimed Ginny.

"Why do I always have to do the saving!" whined Harry.

"Because you're the boy who lived!" exclaimed Hermione, "I read it in Hogwarts a History!"

"NO WAY!" exclaimed Ron.

"WAY!" exclaimed Hermione.

Everyone went back to the Burrow. Unfortunately only Harry got to have supper because they only had enough money left to give Harry his usual portions. "Off to bed young ones! School's tomorrow!" said Mrs. Weasley.

Harry, Hermione, Ron and Ginny went upstairs. "I have a wicked idea!" Ginny said with glee.

"What?" questioned Harry, Hermione and Ron.

"Harry could sleep in my room, and Hermione can sleep in your room Ron." She explained.

"I'm down with that!" said Ron

"I'm happy as long as I don't sleep in a cupboard!" said Harry.

"I guess I could share one night with an imbecile." said Hermione.

So off to bed they went.

"You can share my bed." Ginny said seductively.

"I miss apple pie." wailed Harry.

Harry curled up in a fetal position on what would be Hermione's bed and sobbed himself to sleep.

"So much for a fun sleepover." muttered Ginny.


	5. Chapter 5

Title: Apple pie  
Author: annoyanonymous  
Rating: AA (sexual content)  
Summary: Harry wants apple pie and realizes his feelings for someone unexpected.  
Disclaimer: Characters are JKRs. Duh!

Author's Note Please review, thank you! He he! That rhymed!

Harry awoke gently by the sweet voice of Mrs. Weasley, which was closely follows by loud hollers at everyone else to get out of bed or they will miss the train.

"It doesn't matter," said Ron. "We can appearate to Hogsmeade and walked to Hogwarts it would be faster."

"DON'T GIVE ME LIP!" yelled Mrs. Weasley.

Ron shut up and quickly packed his things. "What's for breakfast?

"Nothing, Harry has to eat." explained Ginny, "But mom made use corned beef sandwiches!"

"Yuck!" said Ron.

"Thanks Mrs. Weasley for packing my suitcase and making this great breakfast just for me!" smiled Harry.

"It was nothing dear." gushed Mrs. Weasley, "I also made you a super lunch!"

"Oh Wow! Snack Packs! Thanks Mrs. Weasley!" exclaimed Harry.

"Only the best for my Harry." Mrs. Weasley said while ruffling his hair.

"Where's dad?" asked Ron, "I haven't seen him for days."

"He's at the Ministry Sleepover!" said Mrs. Weasley.

"Oh yea."

"Hurry!" yelled Mrs. Weasley, "we'll miss the train! The Wizard taxi is here!"

"Everyone dragged their trunks to the Wizard taxi and all piled in. "It's a tight squeeze!" laughed Ron.

"Oh shut up!" Hermione said exasperated.

"You're to close to Harry!" Ginny stated glaring at Hermione.

"There's plenty of Harry to go around!" Harry said winking. He then put an arm around both Ginny and Hermione.

"I wonder how Parvati is doing." Ron wondered out loud.

Hermione glared and said nastily, "Is she going to call you won-won too!"

Ron blushed.

They arrived at Kings Cross Station. "That will be 100 Galleons," said the taxi driver.

"Put it on my son's Fred and George Weasley's tab" said Mrs. Weasley sweetly.

"And she frowned upon their store." Ron said suppressing a laugh.

"Hurry." said Mrs. Weasley.

Harry, Hermione, Ron and Ginny ran full force together through platform 9 and 1/3. They went through the port hole screaming and yelling and not a single muggle notices four noisy teens had just disappeared in thin air. They landed in a heap all together. "That's the last time I go through that with three other people." said Ginny.

"Well obviously." said Harry smiling, "we won't be coming with you next year."

"Oh yea." Ginny said in a depressed tone.

"Quickly!" Mrs. Weasley shouted clutching her chest.

"Oh yea, Ron, umm because Harry and I are Head boy and girl, you have to sit with Neville." Hermione said.

"Bye mate." Harry said punching Ron lightly on the shoulder.

"I'm going to sit with Luna!" exclaimed Ginny running to the train.

"Wait for me!" whined Ron, trailing behind Ginny.

Harry and Hermione walked to their coach, "I can't believe he fell for that one!" laughed Hermione

"What?" questioned Harry.

"Well I guess it isn't to bad cause you fell for it two years in a row." Laughed Hermione, "But what makes it so funny, Ron already knew this trick."

"Can you explain?" asked Harry

"We don't have to go to a head boy, head girl coach." said Hermione, "I just wanted to be alone with you."

"But I'm in love with Ginny."

"Curse those love potions!"


	6. Chapter 6

Title: Apple pie  
Author: annoyanonymous  
Rating: AA (sexual content)  
Summary: Harry wants apple pie and realizes his feelings for someone unexpected.  
Disclaimer: Characters are JKRs. Duh!

Author's Note **HBP SPOILERS in this chapter!** Please take the time to review if you like it or hate it

Harry and Hermione sat in silence for about an hour, before Hermione suggested that they can go sit with Ron. Harry followed Hermione as they searched each compartment, when suddenly Malfoy, Crabbe, and Goyle got in their way.

"Well if it isn't Potty and Mudblood." sneered Malfoy.

"Ok really Malfoy, you'd think after seven years of Hogwarts you'd think or fresh material, and quite frankly I'm surprised your even hear after the stunt you pulled with Dumbledore last year." replied Harry.

Crabbe and Goyle flexed their muscles. Harry laughed, "I've faced Voldemort countless times and you seriously think I'm afraid of you? You honestly don't think I could defend myself against you idiots. Just go, you don't belong her, just get out of here."

Crabbe and Goyle slinked off into their compartment. Hermione looked impressed.

Malfoy looked nervously, "I'm not going to Hogwarts, McGonagall won't allow it. I'm going to work at Zonko's in Hogmeade."

Harry and Hermione laughed hysterics. "I'll get you, you know I will Potter." He sneered. Harry and Hermione continued laughing. They laughed their whole way to Ron's compartment.

"What's so funny?" asked Ginny, kissing Harry on the cheek.

Harry clutched his chest and winced in pain. "What's wrong?" asked Ginny with concern.

"Nothing," said Harry, "It's just when you kiss me, the monster in my chest roars and thrashes about."

"Oh my!" said Ginny, "That's not good."

"Anyway what was so funny?" asked Ron.

"OMG, Harry like totally told Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle off!" exclaimed Hermione.

"Why are you talking like that." asked Ron.

"So you don't have to meet my maturity in order to go out with me." explained Hermione

"Sweet." said Ron, "So you want to be my girlfriend?"

"Hermione blushed, "Yes."

"Awww!" sighed Harry, Ginny and Luna in unison.

"I heard the new defense against the dark arts teacher is really Warvol!" said Luna.

"Oh really!" Ginny said, pretending to believe her.

"Yep, says so in the Quibbler!" Luna said dreamily, "But you know, I can't help but wonder what crazy you-know-how type adventures the trio is going to find themselves in?"

"The trio as in us?" asked Harry, Hermione and Ron in unison.

"Yes!" said Luna.

"What about me?" asked Ginny.

"Your not a trio member, your Ginny-sue, hero's girlfriend!" exclaimed Luna, "A much better role then a brainy sidekick!"

"Hey, I find that offensive." frowned Hermione.

"The truth hurts." said Luna.

"We should be there any moment!" said Hermione, "Let's get into our robes!"

Everyone changed.

"Harry I didn't know you were so well endowed" said Hermione in awe.

"Yup, my pride and joy." smiled Harry fondly.

Ron's face matched his hair color as he turned to face the corner to change.

Once they were all changed and ready they sat and chatted for fifteen minutes about their classes and who was hot and who was not. The train stopped.

"We're here!" Ginny exclaimed with glee.

They all left the compartments and headed for another year at Hogwarts.


	7. Chapter 7

Title: Apple pie  
Author: annoyanonymous  
Rating: AA (sexual content)  
Summary: Harry wants apple pie and realizes his feelings for someone unexpected.  
Disclaimer: Characters are JKRs. Duh!

Author's Note **HBP SPOILERS in this chapter!** Please take the time to review if you like it or hate it

Harry followed behind the group with his eyes cast downward. He saw something glittering beside the carriages. "I'll catch up with you guys." said Harry. The group left Harry and saved him a seat in the carriage. Harry walked towards the glittering unknown object. He bent down and reached his hand forward. He grasped the object, shoved it into his pocket and went into the carriage.

"What's up mate?" asked Ron with concern.

"Nothing." replied Harry, "You wouldn't understand, because know one understands my burden."

"I do!" chipped in Ginny, "I was possessed by you-know-who"

"It's Voldemort." stated Hermione sharply.

Ron winced and shouted "Where?"

Hermione laughed, "No where, Ron. I was correcting your sister."

"Why?" asked Ginny looking hurt.

"Because, we can't fear Voldemorts' name," Hermione said in her matter of factually, "Right Harry?"

Ron and Ginny winced at the name. Luna stared into space.

"Right." said Harry, nodding in agreement.

The carriage arrived at Hogwarts in a matter of minutes. Harry, Hermione, Ron, Ginny and Luna climbed out of the carriage and entered the Hogwarts.

"I wonder who's going to teach Transfiguration, now that McGonagall is headmistress." Hermione stated.

"I don't know, Umbridge?" said Luna staring dreamily at Ron.

Hermione stared at Luna with anger.

As they walked towards the Great Hall all that could be heard were whistles and catcalls all aimed at Harry, "I wonder why they are whistling and complementing me?" asked Harry.

Hermione rolled her eyes, "Because you're even more fanciable then last year."

Harry blushed. Hermione blushed. Ron and Ginny scowled while Luna stared in space.

They entered the Great Hall; it was emptier then the past years, generally because after last year parents were afraid to send their children to Hogwarts. Luna separated from the group and sat with the Ravenclaws. Ron took Hermione's hand, and Ginny took Harry's hand. They found their seats and sat together. Harry's other hand was in his pocket fingering the object he selected from the ground.


	8. Chapter 8

Title: Apple pie  
Author: annoyanonymous  
Rating: AA (sexual content)  
Summary: Harry wants apple pie and realizes his feelings for someone unexpected.  
Disclaimer: Characters are JKRs. Duh!

Author's Note **HBP SPOILERS in this chapter!** Please take the time to review if you like it or hate it

McGonagall stood up to speak, "Welcome back students of Hogwarts, I see there is a lot less of you this year, let us hope it's not because of death." She paused, "As most of you now know I am the new headmistress, Professor McGonagall. I would also like to take this opportunity to introduce the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, Professor Ridgewood."

A tall, woman with long, sleek black hair stood up, bowed her head and sat back down.

"And our new Transfiguration teacher, Professor Novo."

A man with grey, wiry hair stood up, with his face scowling, he bowed his head and sat back down.

"Now on with the sorting!" announced McGonagall.

There weren't many first year at all; there were only eleven first years in total. Gryffindor had three first years, two girls and a boy.

"Not a big group this year…" trailed Neville, who was sitting on the other side of Harry.

"Well it makes sense." said Hermione, "A lot of people are either dead or their parents don't want them to come here now that Dumbledore's gone."

After the welcoming feast, Harry and Hermione lead the first years to the common room and gave them the password _periwinkle_.

Harry and Hermione were first to climb into the common room, closely followed by Ron and the first years. Hermione lead the two first year girls to their dormitory and Harry lead the one boy first year to his dormitory.

Harry came back to the common room and sat in his favorite chair. He took the object out of his pocket, it glistened in the firelight. It was a heavy, golden locket.

"What are you looking at?" asked Hermione

Harry jumped, "Oh, it's you, I thought you were Ginny." He sighed,

"Is that for Ginny?" questioned Hermione.

"Nope it's one of Voldemort's Horcruxes. I just have to destroy it. Then that's three gone four more to go!" exclaimed Harry.

"What are you guys talking about?" said Ron, jumping in on the conversation. Harry re-explained it and told him not to tell Ginny.

Harry set the locket on the table, "_Destoius Voldeous!" _He exclaimed.

The locked turned red hot and emitted a scream. The locket cooled down. Harry picked it up and put it around Hermione's neck.

"A present." He winked at her.

"Hey!" yelled Ron, "She's my woman!"

"What did you just say!" exclaimed Hermione with rage.

"Oh shit…" said Ron.

"See ya!" Harry said as he quickly ran to bed.

"I AM NOT YOUR OBJECT!" yelled Hermione, her face red with fierce anger.

"I sorry." whispered Ron.

"YOU THINK THAT I CAN BE OWNED!" yelled Hermione, "THAT'S IT RON! WE'RE THROUGH!"

"I can ch…" Ron paused, "We weren't dating yet."

"GO UP TO YOUR DORMITORY BEFORE I CURSE YOU TO OBLIVION!" yelled Hermione.

"Shit…" stated Ron as he ran up the stairs.

"You're in trouble." said Harry.

"Thanks for clarifying that mate." sighed Ron.

Harry and Ron changed and went to bed. Harry laid on his four poster bed, a single tear fell from his eye, He betrayed his Applepie, his Dudders. All for Ginny, whom he didn't even like anymore, because he was falling for his best mates basically girlfriend, He's only destroyed three Horcruxes and he still had to kill Voldemort. Life was so unfair and confusing. He sobbed himself to sleep late into the night.


	9. Chapter 9

Title: Apple pie  
Author: annoyanonymous  
Rating: AA (sexual content)  
Summary: Harry wants apple pie and realizes his feelings for someone unexpected.  
Disclaimer: Characters are JKRs. Duh!

Author's Note **HBP SPOILERS in this chapter!** Please take the time to review if you like it or hate it, OH sorry for the shorter updates, I have started college, I have term papers and assignment to do. Thanks for the understanding.

Harry awoke with a start in the middle of the night with a start. He panted, and noticed his sheets were wet and sticky. "I should not be having these types of dreams about Voldemort." He thought, "I should be having those types of dreams about Dudley, Hermione, Ginny or even Ron." He waved his wand and muttered "Scorify." With that the sticky mess was cleaned up. He rolled over and went back to sleep.

He awoke to the sound of Ron falling out of bed. "Fuck!" said Ron, rubbing his forehead.

"Have a nice trip!" laughed Harry.

Ron stared blankly at Harry while Harry doubled over laughing in his hysterics.

"My day is going to be horrible, I just know it!" complained Ron, "Hermione is never going to want to date me, and I never apologize, I need to have a near death experience before Hermione and I will make up! Harry, help me have a near death experience."

"I can't give my best friend a near death experience intentionally!" exclaimed Harry in shock. "You'll just have to be better involved with me finding the Horcruxes, I have 4 more to find you know."

Ron groaned and walked out of the dormitory. Harry followed close behind.

"Hi Harry!" smiled Hermione.

"Hi Harry!" exclaimed Ginny and Romilda together

"Good morning ladies!" Harry exclaimed winking at them.

Ron stormed out of the Gryffindor common room. Harry put his arms around Hermione and Ginny and walked down to the dining hall with Romilda fanning Harry as he walked. He took a seat beside Ron and Hermione and waved Romilda and Ginny away. Ginny looked crestfallen, as she took as seat beside Hermione.

Ron and Hermione stared at each other with hateful eyes. "So…" Harry stated. "I was thinking about looking for a Horcrux in the Chamber of Secrets!

"Why there?" asked Ron.

"Because that's where I found the first Horcrux!" said Harry, "So it makes sense, obviously."

"No Harry, it doesn't make sense." said Hermione in her matter of factually voice, "Voldemort is more likely to hid his soles else where so people won't find them."

"Well no one but me would think to look in the same spot, so he obviously hid them in the same spot." stated Harry.

"But it's just not sensible." stated Hermione.

"Are you the boy-who-lived? Are you the Chosen One?" questioned Harry, "I think not. We're looking where I say we're looking."

"Harry's right you know." said Ron nodding in agreement.

"Oh shut up Ron, you just because you have the intelligence level of a teaspoon, doesn't mean you have to agree with everything Harry says." she exclaimed.

"No fair you just switched around the wording of an already used insult from fifth year!" complained Ron.

Ron took a mouthful of egg and started chocking.

"Oh no! Ron's choking!" exclaimed Harry.

Ron passed out and Hagrid saw the whole scene and carried him up to Madam Pomfrey, instead of helping Ron dislodge the egg.

"Er-my-nee" Ron croaked as he lay in his hospital bed.

Hermione was in tears. "I love you Ron."

"He's going to be alright." Madam Pomfrey explained, "I dislodged the egg. He needs rest, SO PISS OFF!" she bellowed.

Harry, Hermione and Hagrid left the room.

"God damn near death experiences" thought Harry, "I've had plenty of them and I never when Hermione's heart. But there are benefits…"

Harry smiled as he held Hermione close as she sobbed over Ron on his shoulder. Harry led her to the common room. Hermione went to bed. So Harry sat in his favorite chair by the fire. "GINNY!" he hollered.

Ginny came running, and sat on his lap, they snogged until 1:00am when he decided to go to bed.

"Night Gin, I love you." Harry said with his fingers crossed behind his back. He then leaned over and kissed her on the forehead.

Ginny was left all flushed as Harry went up to his dormitory.


	10. Chapter 10

Title: Apple pie  
Author: annoyanonymous  
Rating: AA (sexual content)  
Summary: Harry wants apple pie and realizes his feelings for someone unexpected.  
Disclaimer: Characters are JKRs. Duh!

Author's Note **HBP SPOILERS in this chapter!** Please take the time to review if you like it or hate it, Sorry for the long waits for updates. College, work and social life is taking over. Thanks for the understanding. I don't know how many chapters this story will be.

Once Harry got up to his dormitory he was surprised to see that Ron was back from the hospital wing. He was even more surprised to find Hermione in bed with him. Harry stared for a few moments. The turned and ran down the stairs and out of the common room. He sat sobbing in the Room of Requirement and ate tons of chocolate frogs to comfort his broken heart. "This is how its' suppose to be, Ginny is suppose to be in love with me and Ron is suppose to be in love with Hermione. But I just can't bring myself to love Ginny. I love Hermione, life's not fair." thought Harry. He shoved another chocolate Frog into his mouth. "These just don't comfort me!" he shouted. Suddenly the room was filled with bottle of Fire Whiskey. "That's more like it!" Harry said as he poured himself several glasses. He staggered up to the common room and fell asleep on the floor of his dormitory in a pool of his own vomit.

Harry awoke to Ron shaking him and asking if he felt alright.

"My head hurts…" muttered Harry, "God the room is spinning."

"You smell of alcohol." stated Ron, "what did you do last night?"

Harry stared into space, trying to recollect the night. He replied, "I was drinking away my sorrows."

Ron stared at Harry, waved his wand to clean the vomit and put Harry to bed.

Harry slept himself sober.

Later that night he went down to the common room and saw Hermione and Ron snogging away. Harry made his way to the Room of Requirement. He didn't get himself as drunk as the first night but drunk enough to forget his pain. He continued this for several days.

One morning while Harry was eating some toast at breakfast and conjured himself a hangover cure as he did ever morning, Ginny approached him. "I'm worried about you! All you ever do is drink."

Harry stared at her.

"You need help, let's go see Madam Pomfrey." suggested Ginny.

"No, Ginny. I'll be fine. I'll stop drinking." said Harry.

Ginny smiled and said, "I'm glad."

"Oh Gin?" asked Harry?

"Yes?" she replied.

"I don't think we can be together anymore. Voldemort will try to use you to get to me." He said.

"You said that last year and we're back together."

"Well now I'm being noble."

"No you're just speaking drunk talk!" Ginny sobbed.

"No, your right I'm not being noble I was using you to get Hermione jealous, but it didn't work. I have no use for you anymore." explained Harry, "sorry."

Ginny stood, staring; tears slowly began to stream down her face. She ran from the Great Hall with loud sobs.

Harry finished his breakfast. He turned to leave the table and was startled to see Luna hovering behind him.

"I heard you broke up with Ginny!" she said in her dreamy voice.

"Yea." said Harry.

"Wanna go and snog in the Forbidden Forest?" asked Luna.

"Not to be mean or anything, but I only want to be friends with you, not girlfriend, boyfriend type relationship." explained Harry.

"Who said anything about relationships?" asked Luna, "Let's just be friends with benefits. It will boost my popularity, and might even make Ron jealous!"

Harry agreed. He and Ron could swap girlfriends. It was fool proof.

He walked to class and caught up with Hermione and Ron, who were holding hands. He sat at his desk and noticed a golden cup on the shelf Hufflepuff's cup. "Well I'll be damned!" he said to Hermione and Ron. "Another Horcrux! Four down three more to go, well two if you minus destroying the last one by killing Vodlemort." He picked up the cup and placed it carefully into his bag.


	11. Chapter 11

Title: Apple pie  
Author: annoyanonymous  
Rating: AA (sexual content)  
Summary: Harry wants apple pie and realizes his feelings for someone unexpected.  
Disclaimer: Characters are JKRs. Duh!

Author's Note **HBP SPOILERS in this chapter!** Please take the time to review if you like it or hate it. I don't know how many chapters this story will be.

Harry spent his entire Charms class staring at Hermione, thinking of all the things he'd do to her if she wasn't with Ron. He suddenly found his mind wander to Ron. He felt a rise in his pants; a threesome with Hermione and Ron would be hot. He felt a twang of guilt as he thought quickly about Dudley. "I'm pretty sure he's found someone else." thought Harry nodding. Harry continued to stare at Hermione and Ron, he will have to give his erection a treat tonight when he goes to bed, or sees Luna. Charms classes ended, Harry hadn't even opened his books. He got up and left. He noticed Luna was waiting for him outside the class room. "LUNA!" exclaimed Harry beaming.

"HARRY!" exclaimed Luna as she ran to hug him.

Harry kissed her and pulled out of the hug. Both Harry and Luna turned to look at Hermione and Ron. Hermione was scowling. Ron was laughing in hysterics.

Harry took Luna's hand and Began to walk with Hermione and Ron who were also holding hands. Hermione continued to scowl at Luna and Harry, "I have to go to the library to study." She said shortly and stormed off.

Luna kissed Harry's cheek, "I have Transfiguration."

"Ok sweetie." beamed Harry.

Once Luna was out of site, Ron doubled over laughing. "What are you laughing at?" asked Harry

"You and Luna!" laughed Ron, "It's just so unexpected and hilarious! She's not your type!"

"Shut up." stated Harry.

"Come on! You can't seriously think she's meant for you, can you?" laughed Ron.

"Maybe she's a good lay." stated Harry shortly.

"Ron stood staring wide eyed at Harry. "Is she?"

"Hell ya!" exclaimed Harry

"Holy shit! I never knew!" exclaimed Ron, "And she was totally into me last year!"

"Yup, lost your chance, now you're with innocent virgin Hermione…" trailed Harry.

"Fuck." stated Ron, "Aw man! Why do you get all the luck?"

"I don't know." shrugged Harry, "Anyway I still have to destroy this Horcrux."

But Ron had already stormed off.

Harry smiled, He had no idea how good of a lay Luna was, he was going to find out, but maybe he just rocked the Ron and Hermione relationship.

Harry walked to the Room of Requirement and poured himself a glass of Fire Whiskey, if he was going to make this relationship with Luna work, he had to be drunk.

Before Harry began his drinking, he set the Hufflepuff cup onto a table. "_Destoius Voldeous!" _He exclaimed. The cup turned red hot and emitted a scream. The cup cooled down and Harry placed it back into his bag. "A token to sell at the pawn shop in Hogsmeade." He thought smiling.

Harry poured himself a few drinks and got himself really drunk. He walked past Ginny and straight to Luna. "Room of Requirement." stated Harry, "Now."

Luna followed holding Harry's hand. Ginny stood sobbing.

Harry and Luna arrived at the Room of Requirement, where they engaged in intercourse. "WOW!" exclaimed Harry, "You are really good, very kinky."

Luna smiled, "I get my tips from the Witchmopolitan."

"Same time same place tomorrow?" asked Harry.

"Sure." She smiled.

"Now I will be really good for Hermione!" thought Harry.

Harry walked back to the Common Room. He heard a lot of shouting. "Hermione and Ron are at it again…" thought Harry.

Sure enough Ron and Hermione were both red faced and looking fierce. "I CAN'T BELIEVE YOUR TRYING TO FORCE ME INTO DO IT!" exclaimed Hermione as she sobbed and ran to her dormitory.

People were staring. Ron just stalked off. Harry heard him mutter something about being able to get laid by Luna.

Harry smiled, "He sure rocked the boat!"


	12. Chapter 12

Title: Apple pie  
Author: annoyanonymous  
Rating: AA (sexual content)  
Summary: Harry wants apple pie and realizes his feelings for someone unexpected.  
Disclaimer: Characters are JKRs. Duh!

Author's Note **HBP SPOILERS in this chapter!** Please take the time to review if you like it or hate it. I don't know how many chapters this story will be.

Harry walked up to his dormitory with a smug grin on his face. Ron's curtains were closed shut. "Perhaps I should try to talk to him." thought Harry trying to hide his smug smile. Harry decided against it, because stereotypical boys don't talk about their feelings, or need comfort. Harry climbed into bed and pulled the curtains shut, "Man, now that I had a piece of Luna, I don't know if I want to leave her." Harry noticed he had a huge erection and decided to treat it as he thought of Luna. His mind wandered to picturing Hermione, a sudden flash of Dudley eating apple pie very messily and then thought about Hermione and Luna making out. "Hermione and Luna going at it would be hot…" thought Harry. Harry moaned as he finished treating his erection. "_Scorify." _Harry muttered. The mess was cleaned up. Harry turned over and went to sleep.

Harry felt his boy shaking, when he opened his eyes, "Holy shit mate," said Harry as he looked up and saw Ron's tear stained face. "What are you trying to pull?" Harry said heatedly, "Waking me up so early."

Ron wiped away a tear and said, "Its noon."

"Yea and its Saturday." complained Harry.

"I needed to talk to you mate." Sobbed Ron, "It's about, about… Her… Hermione."

"WHAT ABOUT HER!" Harry yelled, as he jumped out of bed and scratched his balls quickly.

"She and I are through." sobbed Ron, "We had another row last night."

"Well you can't say that your relationship wasn't doomed to fail…" trailed Harry.

"What do you mean." cried Ron.

"All you ever do is fight, you can't converse without raising your voice." stated Harry.

"But its sexual tension!" wailed Ron, "We're supposed to fight like that, everyone agrees. Mate, I was going to marry her some day."

"You only dated for like three days…" trailed Harry.

"But they were the best three days of my life!" wailed Ron.

"Full of fighting and pressuring her into sex…" stated Harry.

"But you got laid by Luna and you haven't even been dating for a whole day!" complained Ron, "I'm going to be a virgin til the day I die, no one wants me."

Ron sobbed on Harry's shoulder. Harry started to pity him. "Tell you what, if you find me a horcrux, I'll make sure of it that you get laid, whether it me be by me, Hermione, Luna or even Gin… wait not Ginny, that would be disgusting, or even umm… Draco.

Ron smiled. "I would prefer Hermione."

"I know mate, but in reality, she loves me on a much deeper level." whispered Harry.

Ron frowned.

"Now go find that Horcrux, anyone will do!" laughed Harry, "Go on!"

"You mean like this one?" said Ron pulling out Nagini, from behind his bed. Nagini hissed fiercely.

"Aw! I wanted to find the snake." pouted Harry. Harry pointed his wand at Nagini and "_Destoius Voldeous!" _He exclaimed.

The Snake withered in pain, emitting weird sounds. The movements stopped and Nagini turned into a pile of ashes.

"Aw! Man!" groaned Harry, "Now I have to clean that up."

Harry pulled out his wand, "_Scorify_!" he exclaimed.

"Now can you find someone to get me laid." said Ron.

"It'll be tough, just like finding all the Horcruxes, but I will indeed find you someone to score with." said Harry, "And that's a promise."

Ron smiled.

Harry left Ron and walked down to the common room. Hermione was sitting on the couch wiping tears from her eyes. "Hey." said Harry, "What's wrong?"

"Ron and I had a row, and I broke up with him, but now I'm going to be alone forever." sobbed Hermione.

"No you won't." said Harry compassionately, "You're a pretty young women, any man would be lucky to be with you."

"You're just saying that because you're my best friend." sobbed Hermione, "Who could ever love an ugly, brainy, bookworm."

"I do." said Harry.

"You… do?" said Hermione

"I love you Hermione, since my first year here." explained Harry.

"What about Luna?" said Hermione sharply.

"Oh yea!" though Harry, "I can get her to score with Ron!"

"She told me she doesn't love me." Harry said sadly, while forcing tears to his eyes. "She said she only wanted me for… for… sex." cried Harry.

Hermione patted Harry on the back. "I love you Harry, that's all that matters."


	13. Chapter 13

Title: Apple pie  
Author: annoyanonymous  
Rating: AA (sexual content)  
Summary: Harry wants apple pie and realizes his feelings for someone unexpected.  
Disclaimer: Characters are JKRs. Duh!

Author's Note **HBP SPOILERS in this chapter!** Please take the time to review if you like it or hate it. I don't know how many chapters this story will be.

Harry hugged Hermione, "I have some business to attend to. I'll meet you at lunch."

"Ok." smiled Hermione.

Harry strutted out of the Gryffindor room, all the way to the Room of Requirement. Luna was laying on the king sized bed in "barely there underwear." "Luna… You look fantastic! But our plan worked."

"What do you mean? Ron doesn't love me yet." frowned Luna.

"Oh trust me, he will." said Harry, "Even so, Hermione and I finally admitted that we love each other."

"Bout time." said Luna. "So how do I get Ron to love me?"

"Give him a great lay, like you did with me. Trust me, he'll be all yours."

Luna smiled. "Alright I will."

Luna got dressed and Harry walked out of the Room of Requirement. Dudley was now far from his mind. A minor memory of the past, Hermione was his present and future. He knew it, even though he was only seventeen.

Harry walked outside to see Hagrid, whom he had not visited all year. Actually, Harry hardly attended class. Harry banged on the door. He waited for what seemed like hours. Finally the door opened. Hagrid was in a big furry robe. Madam Maxime was lying on the bed with blankets up to her chin. "What do you want?" asked Hagrid, "Why have you been knocking on my door for the past hour?"

"I wanted to visit you." smiled Harry, "Did I come at a bad time?"

"Yes, Harry, generally when someone doesn't answer the door for an hour, they are probably busy." explained Hagrid.

"I thought you were sleeping." stated Harry.

"Well I'm not so can you please go?" asked Hagrid

"Ok, anyway I only wanted to tell you that… wait I forget now. Never mind!" laughed Harry, "Sorry for bothering you."

"Bye." said Hagrid, closing the door.

Harry strutted back to the Great Hall winking at the cat calling girls. He strutted right down to Hermione and sat beside her. "Want to be my girl friend?" he asked

"Yes, now that I have been with Ron and broke up and you have been with Ginny and broke up, I'm aloud to say yes now." explained Hermione smiling.

"Excellent!" exclaimed Harry.

"But…" stated Hermione frowning.

"But what?" asked Harry.

"I want to you to quit drinking. It worries me." said Hermione.

"I will." said Harry earnestly.

"I'm glad." smiled Hermione

After Harry and Hermione finished their lunch, they got up to leave. There was Ron and Luna holding hands. Ron was all flushed and sweaty.

Harry gave a thumbs up and winked at Ron. Ron grinned from ear to ear. Harry knew what Ron had just experienced.

Harry and Hermione walked to the library together. "I have to get you caught up on your homework Harry, you've fallen way behind." said Hermione.

"I got a better idea." said Harry seductively.

"What's that?" asked Hermione

Harry led Hermione to the Room of Requirement. Inside the room was all his completed homework. "All I had to do Hermione was hope for all my work to be completed and for me to have the knowledge and it works. How else do you think I have been passing the semester?" explained Harry.

"Clever, but I don't think, I approve." frowned Hermione.

Harry pulled her into a deep passionate kiss. "Do you approve of that?" smirked Harry.

Hermione was flushed, "yes."

Harry managed to get what Ron couldn't on his first try, but it wasn't like it was with Luna. It was more meaningful. It wasn't just scoring. It was love.

Harry kissed Hermione. "I love you."

"I love you too." Hermione said, while snuggling closer to Harry.


	14. Chapter 14

Title: Apple pie  
Author: annoyanonymous  
Rating: AA (sexual content)  
Summary: Harry wants apple pie and realizes his feelings for someone unexpected.  
Disclaimer: Characters are JKRs. Duh!

Author's Note **HBP SPOILERS in this chapter!** Please take the time to review if you like it or hate it. I don't know how many chapters this story will be.

Harry and Hermione walked hand in hand to the Gryffindor Common room. Harry kissed Hermione good night and went to his dormitory. Ron was sitting there waiting with a huge grin spread across his face. "Oy! Harry!" exclaimed Ron, "You were so right about Luna. OMG! I never thought it would be that good. And best of all I won't die a virgin!"

"I told ya," smiled Harry, "Luna sure is kinky."

Ron and Harry laughed. "So what were you and Hermione up to all day?" asked Ron.

"Same as you." said Harry.

"What!" exclaimed Ron, "But how?"

"Because she and I are on a deeper level then you and her." said Harry rolling his eyes.

"I can't believe you did that." Ron said looking angry. "Mate you knew I still had feelings for her."

"And you knew I could get any girl I wanted." said Harry, "What's the problem?"

"You're a dick, you know that Harry." Ron said as he stalked out the dormitory.

Harry shrugged. "There sure is a pickle up his ass…" thought Harry.

Harry climbed into bed, and felt something prick him. "Ow!" exclaimed Harry pulling out a heavy sword he saw in his second year. "Who put the sword of Gryffindor in my bed?" he exclaimed.

Harry inspected it and noticed it was a Horcrux. "Hurray! I found all six!" exclaimed Harry.

Harry waved his wand "_Destoius Voldeous!" _He shouted. The sword turned red hot and emitted a scream. When the sword cooled down, Harry put it in his truck. "I wonder how much this one will be worth." He said to himself.

He laid down in bed and thought, "All I have to do is find Voldemort, and kill him, and I know just the place to look." Harry then rolled over and fell asleep.

When Harry awoke, he went over to tell Ron about how he was going to search for Voldemort and wanted to see if Ron wanted to join him.

Ron stared at him and ran away sobbing. Harry stood on the spot, "FINE THEN!" he yelled, "HERMIONE WILL GO WITH ME!"

Harry walked down into the common room. Hermione wasn't there, "I need a drink." thought Harry.

Harry walked to the Room of Requirement and Poured himself a drink. He stared at it feeling guilty. "It's not my fault she wasn't in the common room and that Ron's not talking to me." He went to take a sip but put it down. "God dammit! Stupid Hermione conscience!" He thought.

He put the drink down and went to the library. Sure enough Hermione was there with her nose in a book. "Hey sweetie." smiled Harry. He bent down and kissed her on the nose.

"Hey!" said Hermione, "I was just looking to find where the last Horcrux might be. It's going to be hard to find the last one, these Horcruxes will sure be hard to find."

Harry stared at her, "Actually they were really easy to find, I found the sixth Horcrux last night." Said Harry, "I'm going to find Voldemort tomorrow and kill him. Wanna come?"

"What?" asked Hermione looking extremely shocked, "You couldn't have found all seven, already."

"Yea I did," said Harry, "I found the Diary in the Chamber of Secrets, Dumbledore found the ring, I found the locket outside, I found the cup in charms class, Ron found the snake Nagini in my dormitory and I found the last one in my bed last night." He listed pointing to each finger as he named a Horcrux. "See I found six!" he exclaimed holding up six fingers.

"Oh!" exclaimed Hermione, "Where do you think Voldemort is hiding?"

"I'll show you tomorrow, after you're finished you're classes." said Harry.

"Ok." agreed Hermione.

They walked to the Great Hall and saw Ron and Luna snogging in the hallway along the way. "Want to come with us to the Great Hall?" asked Harry.

Ron looked at Harry and said "No."

"Look I know you still have feelings for Hermione, but get over yourself. It's not the end of the world." said Harry, "You got Luna now."

Luna looked upset at these words, "Is it true that you still love Hermione?"

"No of coarse not." stammered Ron, looking fiercely at Harry

"Then why aren't you talking to me." said Harry angrily.

"I am talking to you, and I'm still you're friend." He said while force patting Harry on the back.

"So you'll come kill Voldemort with me and Hermione after class tomorrow?" Harry asked hopefully.

"Yes." said Ron.

"Great!" exclaimed Harry, "And I know just where to look."


	15. Chapter 15

Title: Apple pie  
Author: annoyanonymous  
Rating: AA (sexual content)  
Summary: Harry wants apple pie and realizes his feelings for someone unexpected.  
Disclaimer: Characters are JKRs. Duh!

Author's Note **HBP SPOILERS in this chapter!** This story is reaching its end. Also this chapter isn't my funniest I'm trying to build a climax! Haha!

Harry left Hermione and Ron to go to the Room of Requirement to train for his big battle against Voldemort. "He'll never know what's coming!" thought Harry.

Harry trained long and hard into the night practicing every spell he knew and only stopped to have the occasional drink to help him relax. Once he had a game plan set he left the Room of Requirement and walked back to the common room. To his surprise Hermione was still awake sitting on the couch staring into the fire. Harry sat down beside her. Hermione didn't even acknowledge him. He noticed the occasional tear fall from the tip of her nose. "Hey." said Harry with concern, "What's the matter?"

Hermione quickly wiped her eyes and said, "Nothing. It's silly. Really."

"I don't believe you." said Harry, "What's really wrong?"

"Well when you fight Voldemort tomorrow, I…" she sobbed, "I might never see you again."

Hermione sobbed into her hands. Harry looked at her with great concern. "Hermione." He said, "As long as I have you by my side, nothing can defeat me."

Hermione hugged Harry. "Oh Harry!"

"But…" started Harry, "Just in case it's my last day on Earth…"

Hermione nodded. They made love right there in the common room. Ginny happened to walk in with Colin Creevey. She ran straight up to her dormitory sobbing. Colin took some pictures. "Colin!" yelled Harry, "Not now!"

"Sorry." said Colin, "But I can't help but photograph you, you're just so hot!"

Harry stared at Colin. "Just go." said Harry.

Colin ran up to his dormitory. Harry kissed Hermione good night. "I trained really hard Hermione, I'm ready." He said.

"I love you Harry." said Hermione hugging him fiercely.

Harry walked up to his dormitory and was very surprised to see Ron in bed with Parvati and Lavender.

"Aw! Man!" thought Harry, "Why didn't I think about doing that with them!"

Harry when to bed, and slept.

Harry awoke late the next morning and skipped his classes again, "I'm going to defend the wizarding world again." thought Harry, "I think I deserve not going to school."

While Ron and Hermione where in class Harry trained in the Room of Requirement. He stopped only for lunch. Hermione wasn't there, "Must be in the Library." thought Harry.

Harry turned to go find her when Ron shouted "Oy! Harry! Sit here! I have a story for you."

Harry sat down beside Ron. "That line, I might die tomorrow so works." whispered Ron, "Man it worked with both Parvati and Lavender, if you know what I mean!" Ron then winked at Harry and laughed.

Harry sat there thinking of Hermione while Ron blabbed on about his adventures with Parvati and Lavender. When Lunch hour was finished Harry walked aimlessly around the corridors and decided to write Dudley a quick letter, because he may die.

Before Harry knew if classes were done for the day, Harry went to collect Hermione and Ron. "Quickly." He muttered, "While everyone is at dinner we will go find Voldemort."

"You mean…" started Hermione.

"He's here." nodded Harry

"How do you know?" asked Ron.

"My scar." Harry said, rolling his eyes.

Harry led them to Moaning Myrtle's bathroom. "Hey Myrtle!" Harry said while giving her a wink.

Myrtle swooned.

Harry walked to the faucet, which had a snack engraved into it. "Open up!" he hissed in Parseltounge.

The chamber opened up. Harry jumped into it first closely followed by Hermione, and Ron.

Harry led them down the many tunnels. They came to a blockage. "Oh yea!" Harry said while smacking his forehead. "I forgot in the second year we cause the roof to cave in."

Harry and Ron starred at each other and then at Hermione. "Oh for goodness sack!" muttered Hermione. "_Disappearius!"_ the blockage disappeared.

"You're brilliant!" exclaimed Harry.

"Yes I know." smiled Hermione.

They continued down the tunnel and there was a at the end of the tunnel was four shadowy figures at the end of the tunnel, all in black cloaks.


	16. Chapter 16

Title: Apple pie  
Author: annoyanonymous  
Rating: AA (sexual content)  
Summary: Harry wants apple pie and realizes his feelings for someone unexpected.  
Disclaimer: Characters are JKRs. Duh!

Author's Note **HBP SPOILERS in this chapter!** Probably 2 chapters to go.

Harry looked at the people in cloaks, "I'm here to face Voldemort!" he exclaimed.

"You dare speak his name!" hissed Bellatrix.

"Yes I dare speak his name." laughed Harry, "Voldemort!"

"Stop it!" yelled Bellatrix.

"Voldemort, Voldemort, VOLDEMORT!" yelled Harry.

"That's it!" yelled Bellatrix, "_Crucio!"_

Harry withered in pain.

"HARRY!" yelled Hermione sobbing.

"I'll stop her!" yelled Ron.

Hermione laughed, "You can't do anything useful, you're always afraid."

Harry laughed during his torture, "She's right you know."

The death eaters laughed.

Ron's face turned scarlet. He then looked extremely angry, "My work always, ALWAYS gets under looked!" he yelled, "Well that's it!"

He waved his wand "_Arma da Fuoco!" _a rock transformed into a machine gun. He aimed at Bellatrix and shot her to death. Harry was set free. Harry lay in a crumpled heap on the ground panting. He heard Lucius shout "_Avada Kedavra!"_

Ron instantly fell, "RON!" shrieked Hermione.

"What?" said Ron.

"I thought it, it hit you." she sobbed.

"No it was the person behind me." said Ron, "I heard foot steps."

"No time to check who it is now." said Harry.

Ron conjured up two more guns and they gunned down the death eaters.

"Well that was really, easy…" stated Hermione.

"Now time to face Voldemort." said Harry.

They walked toward the lark snake sculpture that contained the Basilisk. When the floor below Harry crumbled, Hermione and Ron didn't fall in.

Harry landed, "OW!" he said while rubbing his forehead.

"Finally, we meet again Potter." hissed Voldemort.

"Indeed." said Harry.

"You managed to kill four of my death eaters, but all for nothing Potter." laughed Voldemort, "You can attempt to kill me, but I am immortal."

"_Avada" _started Voldemort.

"_Destoius Voldeous!" _shouted Harry much quicker then Voldemort.

Voldemort hit the ground withering in pain. "How! But how!"

"I invented a spell that would kill you and your horcruxes and only you and your horcruxes. Because I am incapable of using the unforgivable curses, you are now going to die." said Harry.

Voldemort kept withering for what seemed like hours. Finally he emitted a loud blood curdling scream and died.

"Finally!" muttered Harry.

Harry hollered up the hole to Hermione, "I need a rope!"

Hermione conjured a rope and heaved Harry and Voldemort up.

"YOU DID IT!" exclaimed Hermione.

"I wonder who died?" said Ron, "You know other then Voldemort and the death eaters."

"Hmm… but you were the only three with me. Right?" wondered Harry.


	17. Chapter 17

Title: Apple pie  
Author: annoyanonymous  
Rating: AA (sexual content)  
Summary: Harry wants apple pie and realizes his feelings for someone unexpected.  
Disclaimer: Characters are JKRs. Duh!

Author's Note **HBP SPOILERS in this chapter!** Probably 1 chapters to go.

Harry and Hermione skipped back through the tunnel, jumping over the occasional corpse of a death eater. Ron dragged Voldemort. "Come on!" whined Ron, "You can leave me with the Voldemort dragging."

Harry and Hermione looked at each other and laughed. Together they conjured a feather light charm. Ron blushed, "I forgot I could do that."

Harry and Hermione laughed. They stopped and starred at each other. Harry looked deeply into Hermione's eyes, then they made out.

"Hey! Hey! Hey! Break it up!" yelled Ron, "I'm standing right here."

"I can't help it, she's just so… so hot!" exclaimed Harry breathlessly.

"Yea." agreed Hermione, looking extremely flushed.

"So who died?"

Just then Harry tripped. "Ow!" Harry looked down, "Watch where your going, Ginny!"

Ron and Hermione looked down.

"I think she's dead, Harry."

Ron dropped to his knees, and shook her violently, "Ginny! Ginny! GINNY! Wake up Ginny." Ron then broke down into sobs.

"I have an idea!" exclaimed Harry, "Let's use the Room of Requirement to bring her back from the dead."

Ron sniffled, and said, "Ok Harry."

So Ron dragged Voldemort and Ginny through the Chamber of Secrets. When they reached the entrance Myrtle grinned, "I have a friend in the bathroom now!"

"Not now Mert!" yelled Ron.

"Fine, be that way." exclaimed Myrtle.

So they reached the Room of Requirement and hoped for Ginny. But nothing happened. "What's wrong, why isn't it working?" asked Ron.

"Do ask me." said Harry.

"I was going to tell you before…" said Hermione, "But according to Hogwarts: A History, the Room of Requirement doesn't allow the dead to come back."

Ron sobbed uncontrollably.

Hermione patted him on the back, "Maybe she's a ghost now?"

"That's what I thought about Sirius, but I was wrong." sighed Harry.

"Come on let's tell McGonagall." said Hermione, "About Ginny and Voldemort."

So they began to walk to McGonagall's office, still dragging Voldemort and Ginny, many students that they past screamed and ran away. They continued the travel.

"Crap!" said Harry, "I don't know the password."

So they sat and waited, and waited and waited. Hours past and McGonagall still hadn't come by. "Let's store the bodies in the Room of Requirement, and get some sleep. We can tell McGonagall tomorrow." suggested Hermione.

They went back to the Room of Requirement, students screaming as they past. They put the bodies into the Room of Requirement. "Good bye, little sis." sobbed Ron, "Can't do it! I can't leave her here in this state!"

Hermione and Harry looked at Ron with sorrow.

"I can't believe she's gone" sobbed Ron.

A single tear fell from Hermione as she went and hugged Ron.

Harry scowled, "I never met my parents, you know. They died when I was a baby." Harry cried.

Hermione didn't say anything, she comforted Ron.

Harry hoped for a drink and drank a nice stiff drink of Fire Whiskey. "Stupid Ron, stealing my love." Thought Harry.


	18. Chapter 18: The End

Title: Apple pie  
Author: annoyanonymous  
Rating: AA (sexual content)  
Summary: Harry wants apple pie and realizes his feelings for someone unexpected.  
Disclaimer: Characters are JKRs. Duh!

Author's Note **HBP SPOILERS in this chapter!** Yes this is a depressing chapter but I can't just kill a character and show absolutely no respect to the character, as much as I HATE Ginny. I might right a sequel but in Hermione POV. Please Read and Review.

Hermione hugged Ron, "you don't have to leave her here, we can just sleep here for the night."

Ron sobbed, "I can't sleep at a time like this."

Harry scowled at them, "How about I go find McGonagall myself, and bring her here, so we can find out what to about this."

Hermione nodded. Ron continued to sob.

Harry walked out of the Room of Requirements. He walked although Hogwarts in search of McGonagall. He but on his adventure of searching for McGonagall he stopped to have a friendly chat with Lavender and Parvati. Had a little fling with Goyle and continued his search.

He then thought, "Oh Yea! I can use the Marauder's Map!"

He ran up to his common room, and had a long friendly chat to Neville about quidditch. He then climbed into bed and went to sleep.

He awoke with a start, "Oh shit! I still have to find McGonagall!" He scrambled out of bed, scratched his balls and searched through his trunk for the Marauder's Map. Once it was within his hands he opened it "I solemnly swear I'm up to know good."

At once the map showed all of Hogwarts, his eyes wandered madly, he then saw something that had his very confused. In the Room of Requirement there was Ron, Hermione, Tom and Ginny. However there was a Ginny in Moaning Myrtles bathroom. "How can that be…" he thought, "Perhaps there's a glitch with my map."

However as curious as he was about the two Ginny Weasleys, he had a task at hand, which he must complete.

He finally found McGonagall on the map. He then left the common room with the map in hand and walked all the way to his destination. In Professor Novo's office, (the transfiguration professor), once he arrived to his destination he knocked upon the door. Harry heard strange moans and sounds from inside this office. Harry feared that perhaps Professor Novo was a death eater trying to avenge Voldemorts death! Harry couldn't allow that. He barged through the door. Only to find McGonagall and Novo nude… and together, "Umm… s…s…sorry professor, I didn't know I… I… thought you were being attacked." stammered Harry.

"McGonagall and Professor Novo were extremely flustered and quickly covered themselves.

"What's the meaning of this, Potter?" asked McGonagall sternly.

"Well last night Hermione, Ron and I tried to find you to tell you some good and grave news." said Harry, while averting his eyes.

"Well what is this news, that was so important that you had to… interrupt." asked McGonagall sternly.

"Well I found Voldemort in the Chamber of Secrets, and I defeated him. Ron and Hermione helped me defeat five death eaters."

McGonagall was speechless.

"And well I didn't know that she followed us…" said Harry chocking back tears, "But… But Ginny…" Harry broke into tears.

It was much harder telling someone then he thought.

"What about Ginny!" exclaimed McGonagall "Is she hurt?"

Harry shook is head.

McGonagall sighed with relief, "You had me scared for a minute Potter."

"I don't think it hurt her when she was cursed." He cried, "She died on impact."

Harry sobbed.

"Died." stated McGonagall in an almost whisper.

Harry continued to cry. "I'll… I'll take you to the bodies. Professor." stammered Harry, wiping tears from his eyes.

"Of course." McGonagall said, "First let me get dressed."

Harry waited outside of the office.

McGonagall came out. "Ok lead me" she said gravely.

Harry and McGonagall walked slowly in silence to the Room of Requirement. "Professor I need to you think that you must see Ginny immediately, OK"

McGonagall nodded and followed Harry's instructions. A door appeared and Harry entered it.

"About time Harry!" exclaimed Hermione.

"The Professor was hard to find!" exclaimed Harry.

Ron was still clutching Ginny and sobbing.

McGonagall gentle told Ron to let go and that they needed to tell his parents and prepare services.

Ron hugged his sister, and stammered, "Good bye Ginny. I'll love you always. I wish… I wish…" He never finished his sentence and burst into tears.

McGonagall got both bodies to the appropriate place to await the funeral arrangements.

While McGonagall was off with the bodies. Harry and Hermione walked with Ron to the Common room. They past Moaning Myrtles bathroom, "That reminds me!" exclaimed Harry, "We have to go in there."

"Can't it wait Harry?" hissed Hermione

"No!" said Harry.

So they walked into Moaning Myrtles Bathroom. "Ginny?" asked Harry cautiously.

Ron and Hermione stared, as a ghost form of Ginny appeared. She was crying.

"Gin." said Ron in disbelief.

"I'm sorry." wailed Ginny, "I just wanted to help. But now… I'm stuck like this."

"It's not your fault Ginny, I'm so glad to see you!" exclaimed Ron.

"Please Ron, I am passing over soon. I am only here to say good bye. I'm not leaving until I say good bye to everyone. I felt know pain, I'm OK Ron. I just wish things were different."

"Don't go Ginny." whispered Ron.

"Bring Mum, Dad, everybody to me. Please Ron. I need you to bring them to me."

Ron nodded.

"I love you Ginny."

"I know you do. I love you too. Good bye Ron, Bye Hermione, Harry." She said, "Remember bring Mum and dad and the rest of the family. I want to say good bye to them all."

Ron, Hermione and Harry left. Ron seemed to cheer up a little more then he was. He was glad to at least tell her that he loved her and to say good bye.

Ron, Hermione and Harry walked up to the common room and wrote letters to all of the Weasleys, before they knew it all the Weasleys including Percy had flooed through the fire. Ron led them all to Myrtles bathroom. Ron held is sobbing mother's hand.

They all walked into the bathroom. Harry and Hermione followed silently. Harry held Hermione's hand. They stood there Hermione cried in Harry's arms.

Ginny appeared, "I'm sorry." She stated, "I was foolish to follow, and I want you to know that I'm sorry. I love you all so much. I just wanted to say good bye. I could never leave without saying good bye. It didn't hurt when I died, I was in no pain. I was afraid for a brief moment but everything is ok. I am assured that when I pass on to the next world that everything will be ok. I can still appear to you in dreams. I don't want you to be sad for me, I want you to remember me, honor me through your stories and never forget me. I will see you all again someday. When that time comes I will be waiting with open arms. I must go, I love you. And I'm sorry I have to leave. Good bye."

With that a bright light appeared and she was gone. No one cried. They all seemed to be happy that they had closure.

The funeral followed that evening. Although they were sad to see her go and they did cry. They knew that they'd meet again someday.

Harry walked over to Ron and patted him on the shoulder. "Thank you Ron."

Ron gave him a weak smile, "thanks"

Luna was hugging Ron very tightly. Harry gave a wink, "On bonus to loosing someone is the sympathy sex." whispered Harry to Ron.

Harry wandered off with Hermione. "Hermione you will never know how grateful I am for all you have done for me. I love you."

Hermione hugged him, "I love you too. And I have something to tell you… I'm pregnant."

The End


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